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Toestown Direct
  • Home
  • About us
  • All Greeting Cards
    • Anniversary
    • Apology
    • Birthday's
      • Birthday
      • Belated Birthday
      • Husband's Birthday
      • Grandma's Birthday
      • Wife Birthday
    • Blank Card
    • Christmas
    • Congrats on being Single Again
    • Encouragement
    • Father's Day
    • Female Friendship
    • Get Well
    • Graduation
    • Mother's Day
    • New Baby
    • New Job
    • Party Invitation
    • Promotion
    • Retirement
    • Thank You
    • Valentine's Day
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  • Two couples enjoy a cocktail at the stern on the upper deck of a large cruise ship under a banner that says "Welcome Aboard Meet and Greet". One of the gentleman in conversation with the other couple says "Yea, I'm pretty nocturnal, always pushing the envelope". The lady with other couple clearly impressed says "Oh my, how exciting! Are you some kind of daredevil?" The wife of the gentleman that made the original comment says with a bit of a frown "Hardly, he works the night shift at the post office!"

    Greeting Card - Pushing The Envelope

    Greeting Card - Pushing The Envelope

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  • Greeting Card - One Nightstand

    Greeting Card - One Nightstand

    Greeting Card - One Nightstand

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  • Hitting Jerrys Rock Bottom Greeting Card

    Hitting Jerrys Rock Bottom Greeting Card

    Hitting Jerrys Rock Bottom Greeting Card

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  • In the swimsuit section of a well appointed department store there are two well dressed cows standing beside a rack of bathing suits. The cows udders are clearly visible as their clothes only cover the upper portion of their bodies. One of the cows has removed an item from the dislay and is holding up a polka dotted thong bikini bottom. The bikini bottom has four cavities that perfectly accomodates the cows four udders. The second cow is looking intently at her friend over the top of her glasses with

    Greeting Card - Bovine Bikini

    Greeting Card - Bovine Bikini

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  • Rock Paper Scissors Greeting Card

    Rock Paper Scissors Greeting Card

    Rock Paper Scissors Greeting Card

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  • In a busy gym there are people excercising, some working out on cross trainers, others doing pilates and arobics. In the center of all this there is a plump lady wearing workout clothes including sweat pants, sneakers and a large head band. She is laying face down on a workout mat with her head turned sideways. Her arms are listlessly lying along each side of her body. She has a disgused look on her face and says, "Damn push-up bra is useless".

    Greeting Card - Push-Up Bra

    Greeting Card - Push-Up Bra

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  • Onboard a large air plane that is at full capacity a large moose with large antlers sits in the middle seat between two other passengers. The male passenger sitting in the window seat is trying to pry open the window and the lady in the other seat beside the moose is pinching her nose as there is a horrific smell in the plane. The moose is holding his belly with his two hooves as if his stomach was upset. Other passengers throughout the plane are visibly revolted by the smell. The moose say "Oh my!. Pardon

    Greeting Card - Bad Reeds

    Greeting Card - Bad Reeds

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  • Keto Kitty Greeting Card

    Keto Kitty Greeting Card

    Keto Kitty Greeting Card

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  • Phlegmboyant Greeting Card

    Phlegmboyant Greeting Card

    Phlegmboyant Greeting Card

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  • Damn It's Wednesday Greeting Card

    Damn It's Wednesday Greeting Card

    Damn It's Wednesday Greeting Card

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  • Connections Connections Greeting Card

    Connections Connections Greeting Card

    Connections Connections Greeting Card

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  • In a well appointed corporate office a well dressed gentleman with reading glasses sits at his desk reading text written on a roll of toilet paper, it appears as if he is reading a scroll. A plunger stands confidently in front of the HR managers desk as the executive asks the plunger, "This is quite an impressive resume. Why are you looking to get out of the industry? The plunger relies back "Yea I've seen it all that's for sure. I just want something more consistant.

    Greeting Card- Only Used In A Jam

    Greeting Card- Only Used In A Jam

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  • Recyclables In The Afterlife Greeting Card

    Recyclables In The Afterlife Greeting Card

    Recyclables In The Afterlife Greeting Card

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  • A beautiful clear day on the second green at golf course where a urinal and a toilet are having a heated conversation. John, the toilet is donning a retro style golf hat knickers and is waiving his hands and golf club in the air. The toilet seat acting as his top lip he is clearly making a fuss as expletives symbols representing swear words come from his mouth. His golf partner Uri the urinal wearing retro golf attire with a p-trap for one leg waiving his putter and is shouts back to John and says

    Greeting Card - Potty Mouth

    Greeting Card - Potty Mouth

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  • Jockey Underware Shoot Greeting Card

    Jockey Underware Shoot Greeting Card

    Jockey Underware Shoot Greeting Card

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  • 2 Minutes For Hooking Greeting Card

    2 Minutes For Hooking Greeting Card

    2 Minutes For Hooking Greeting Card

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A message from Toe:

Everyone has specific family members, friends, or associates that do and say the strangest of things. It is my belief that you could substitute any one of the people in your circle of influence with characters from Toe’s Town. That’s what makes Toe’s Town cards fun. Enjoy!

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