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Toestown Direct
  • Home
  • About us
  • All Greeting Cards
    • Anniversary
    • Apology
    • Birthday's
      • Birthday
      • Belated Birthday
      • Husband's Birthday
      • Grandma's Birthday
      • Wife Birthday
    • Blank Card
    • Christmas
    • Congrats on being Single Again
    • Encouragement
    • Father's Day
    • Female Friendship
    • Get Well
    • Graduation
    • Mother's Day
    • New Baby
    • New Job
    • Party Invitation
    • Promotion
    • Retirement
    • Thank You
    • Valentine's Day
    • Wedding Invite & Thank You
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  • I've Had It With Carbs Greeting Card

    I've Had It With Carbs Greeting Card

    I've Had It With Carbs Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • Laser Mole Removal Greeting Card

    Laser Mole Removal Greeting Card

    Laser Mole Removal Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • Too Long In The Tanning Booth Greeting Card

    Too Long In The Tanning Booth Greeting Card

    Too Long In The Tanning Booth Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • At a party in an elegant ballroom adorned with beautiful chandeliers a nicly dressed lady holding a tray of appetizers walks up to a lady skeleton wearing a fashionable hat, necklace and purse holding a glass of champagne in her hand. The skeleton says "Oh no Phyllis I can't have bean dip it just goes right though me".The funny "Bean Dip" comic is a favorite in the Toe's Town wine and gift bag collection especially for those with irritable bowel syndrome or other stomach sensitivities.

    Greeting Card - Bean Dip

    Greeting Card - Bean Dip

    Regular price $5.99
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  • A Crack Team Greeting Card

    A Crack Team Greeting Card

    A Crack Team Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
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  • A walrus and two teen beavers sit in an orthodontist's waiting room with their front teeth and braces on full display. The coffee table has two magazines lying on top, one called Cosmobeaverton and the other Walrus Quarterly. A picture on the wall shows a before picture of a beaver with no visible front teeth and an after picture of a beaver with two teeth sitting proud of the beavers lips. In the next room the walrus orthodontist is looking intently at an xray of a young beaver who's teeth are not sticking

    Greeting Card - Long In The Tooth

    Greeting Card - Long In The Tooth

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • Hannibal Lecturn Greeting Card

    Hannibal Lecturn Greeting Card

    Hannibal Lecturn Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
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  • At a table in the center of a pub there are three people, two men and one woman are sitting watching the waitress deliver their food. The waitress is holding the serving tray in the air shoulder high. A good looking big Hawaiian man with long flowing black hair wearing a grass skirt and a flowered lei is laying on his side across the length of the over sized tray.

    Greeting Card - Large Hawaiian

    Greeting Card - Large Hawaiian

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • Tongue Depressor Greeting Card

    Tongue Depressor Greeting Card

    Tongue Depressor Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
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  • Bottom Feeders Greeting Card

    Bottom Feeders Greeting Card

    Bottom Feeders Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
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  • Professional Underware Model Greeting Card

    Professional Underware Model Greeting Card

    Professional Underware Model Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • A polar bear is drinking a martini sitting at the bar talking to a lady who is human and who is also enjoying a cocktail. The polar bear is very hip looking wearing dark sunglasses and gold chains. The lady who looks to be fascinated with the polar bear and says "Oh you have two residences, one in the north and one in the south". The polar bear responds and says, "Yea, I'm bi-polar".

    Greeting Card - Bi-Polar

    Greeting Card - Bi-Polar

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • At the arrivals section of an airport a gentleman is crouched down while standing on his suitcase with his pants down around his ankles. He has his bum a few inches away from a customs arrival retinal scanner. The gentleman's wife is standing beside him with a look of disbelief on her face as she says " Larry, I'm pretty sure it's a retia scanner".

    Greeting Card - Retina Scanner

    Greeting Card - Retina Scanner

    Regular price $5.99
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  • Cone Of Shame Greeting Card

    Cone Of Shame Greeting Card

    Cone Of Shame Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
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  • A prostitute in a tight fitting dress is standing on a sidwalk under a streetlight in the bad part of town. There is a tatoo parlor and a bail bondsman shop in the background. A pea pod wearing naval uniform is standing beside the lady looking intently at her. The lady says, "I would love to honey but I'm allergic to pea nuts".

    Greeting Card - Pea Nuts

    Greeting Card - Pea Nuts

    Regular price $5.99
    Regular price Sale price $5.99
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  • Buxatony Bob Greeting Card

    Buxatony Bob Greeting Card

    Buxatony Bob Greeting Card

    Regular price $5.99
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A message from Toe:

Everyone has specific family members, friends, or associates that do and say the strangest of things. It is my belief that you could substitute any one of the people in your circle of influence with characters from Toe’s Town. That’s what makes Toe’s Town cards fun. Enjoy!

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